I haven't really had the chance to sit down and write about natural childbirth. Now that I'm up for round two it has been on my mind a lot. Especially because I'm frequently asked if I'm going to go natural again with this baby.
I'd like to say that I gave birth without medication because I wanted to experience the power of my body and what birth was actually all about.
Don't get me wrong, that was an amazing (yet horribly painful) part of having my baby without medication, but I'm going to tell you the real reason I did it.
I'm a chicken!
I know this seems ironic, but really I did it without medication because the word "epidural" kind of makes me shudder. There is something whole and satisfying about letting your body do the thing it was made to do. There is something unnatural and freaky about a long skinny needle inserted into your spinal fluid.
But still I am open to the idea of an epidural because I do remember the pain of natural childbirth. My labor was roughly 12 hours. The first 8 hours were totally manageable. I wasn't even making much noise with those contractions. I did laundry, made Sunday dinner, took a shower, etc. It just felt like bad cramps which were no big deal.
The last four hours were harsh. Real harsh. These were the "scream contractions". Yet I knew that it wouldn't last forever. And it didn't.
And I only threw-up once. Not bad.
And so I was going back and forth on the decision with this baby. Part of me feels like I can handle those rough four hours again. Part of me gets exhausted at the thought of doing it the same way again. But am I frightened of natural childbirth? Not really. The epidural is what gets me.
Let's cut to the chase. I'll tell you why I'm posting about this. The other night Brian and I had dinner with a couple in our ward that is about our age. We have a lot in common because they went to BYU-Idaho for their undergrad degrees and now they moved here for a grad program. My friend's husband is finishing his schooling to be a anesthesiologist. In fact he is so far along in his degree that now he is an intern and is basically getting real life experience incubating and epiduraling people up. So I took the opportunity to talk his ear off about the epidural.
Me: "So what exactly happens when you give an epidural?"
Him: "Well you inject a small (but long) needle into the dura mater that is under the epidermis in the lower back to insert anesthesia in to the spinal fluid."
Me: "So my sister got a bad headache after getting an epidural and she had to lay flat on her back. What is that all about?"
Him: "Well the headache is fairly common. Hardly a complication. It just means that part of the spinal fluid leaked out. This caused the fluid that holds her brain in place to lessen so her brain shifted. If that happens you just takes some blood from the arm and inject it into the spine. The blood will help clot wherever the spinal fluid is leaking."
Me: "Oh"
Him: "The needle has a bit of air in it and when you inject the needle you have to wait for a small pop feeling before you know it is in the right place. If the needle is inserted too far than there can be complications. If you get a good anesthesiologist you shouldn't have any spinal fluid leak out."
Me: "What is the biggest reason you wouldn't give a patient an epidural?"
Him: "Patient consent." (I guess the real bad stuff happens when the patient is freaked out and won't hold still)
Me: "What is the worst case scenario?"
Him: "Paralysis."
Me: "Okay, so if you were a woman and were experiencing labor, would
you get the epidural."
Him: (After a surprisingly long pause) "To me paralysis is worse than death so I guess I wouldn't risk it even if the chances are small."
Seriously? The anesthesiologist wouldn't get the epidural? That sort of sealed the deal for me. If the smaller side effect is headache, and the worse side effect is paralysis, I think I'll opt out. I know that not everyone experiences a side effect either. I also know that if I need an emergency C-section I'll be sorry I didn't get the epidural because it makes it a lot easier. But the headache and paralysis are only part of a list of other negatives. A catheter to urinate? Dizziness? Prolonged labor? Infection?
Yeah, I'll stick to those horrible four hours of pain. Even if the chances of side effects are small, I'm not going to risk it. I'm with the anesthesiologist.