Trying to become a better mother

I am in need of advice from moms that have motherhood all figured out (I know most of us don't have it all figured out but this is being typed up with the hope that there might be).

I have two little kids. They are young. They are needy. After clawing my way through the first few months with two kids, I felt like I had things under control. They were both napping at the same time in the afternoon which helped give me time to do things alone. Sometimes I would do dishes. Sometimes I would read blogs. Sometimes I would nap. Sometimes I would shower. Sometimes I would exercise. I lived everyday for nap time. If I could just make it to 1:00 I would be okay. I was feeling so great that I decided to also wake up early to get a jump start on my day without the little ones. This gave me time to read scriptures, or to shower, or to exercise.

So that was the way it used to be. But now my kids wake up earlier and David won't seem to take his naps anymore. So I'm going to up the ante and wake up at 5:00 to fit in my exercising and shower before the kids get up. I will try to be patient with my toddler that refuses to sleep. I will put them to bed at 8:00 and go to bed myself at 9:00. That gives me one hour alone in the evenings and one hour in the morning before Brian goes to work. This is my schedule everyday. I have no holidays or weekends. I can't leave work. I have no time off. And it is taxing! Does anyone realize how much a mother gives? I know I didn't until I became one.

Mother of many, can you please tell me how you did it? I wanted a big family but after experiencing life with these precious little ones, I don't think I'm selfless enough to do what motherhood requires of me. How do you do it? Teach me so I can face my future with energy and hope and the family size that I wanted so long ago.

An Explanation

The post below requires an explanation. So for those of you that want it, here it is.

I was up early, 4:30 I think, with Nathan. When I got him back to sleep it seemed not long before David was up for the day. Nathan and David usually share a room but this time Nate was asleep in his pack and play in my bedroom. I put Barney in for David (can I just say I'm not a fan or Barney...I think its his voice) and I fell asleep on the couch. Pretty soon I heard Nathan crying and in my grogginess I told David to check on him. Sometimes they can entertain each other for a few minutes. David came back and got some toys for him and put them, as well as himself, in the pack and play. I fell back to sleep and woke up to David's face about two inches from mine saying that Nate had a dirty diaper...well is was more like "Mommy, Mommy, Maaaaaahhhhmy, Maaaaaahhhhmy, Nate! Nate! Poo-poo". So I gradually got myself up, deciding it was time I stop neglecting my children. When I went in and saw Nate I could not for the life of me figure out what had happened. Then David said "See! See!" and showed me how he threw Nathan's poopy diaper in the garbage. I realized at that moment that David had tried to change his little brother's diaper. What a helper.

Dear Husband,

Dear Husband of Mine,

I really love you. In fact, I love you so much that I would like to see more of you. I know that you've tried to fix what you can, and that you are home as much as you could possibly be, but we still miss you. I know you are doing great things for you job and your career. I know you are building our future. But while you are out doing this....


I am at home dealing with this...


So you can see how I really could use a little more of this...


Love,

That one lady that lives in your house

My Little Project

My neighbor was getting rid of a few things and brought me in to her garage to see if I wanted anything. I saw a cute old-fashioned play kitchen and hoped maybe it was on the list of giveaways. And it was! I knew I needed to tweak it a bit to make it more boyish. I also wanted to give it a bit of color. But I didn't really want to paint it. So I decided to line the shelves. I used scrapbook paper, contact paper, and a bit of double-sided tape. Super easy. And then I removed the little handles and spray painted them white.

BEFORE

AFTER

David loves it! He is a good daddy and also makes me food everyday.

Nothing like plastic green peas...mmmm. By the way, I got the food for a buck at the Target dollar spot. It was packaged in a cute mesh bag. A perfect fit for his new kitchen!

Me at the Warehouse

Yesterday I went to Costco for the first time ever. Nothing made me feel more like a mormon mom than going to Costco and coming home with three hundred bucks in snacks, diapers, formula, and toilet paper. I feel like I've undergone some rite of passage. I went with a friend so I actually haven't bought a membership yet. Pretty sure I'll take the plunge though.

I got home and realized the butter was in a huge square cube. As was the cream cheese. Not too happy about dividing that up.

Also, I bought a ton of food, yet I have no idea what to make for dinner tonight. I thought that would be a cinch since I did, after all, buy three hundred dollars worth of stuff. Isn't coming up with a dinner plan the worst sometimes?

I loved the samples. So did David. Seriously. Tomato bisque and Clam Chowder? Fancy cheeses and yummy brownies? I'll take a small bite of that stuff over Peanut Butter and Jelly at home any day. I felt so fancy. But you know I did notice that most of the trays bore one tired looking sample when really the sample givers had a fresh tray of their delights stashed away. I realized that the people that approached them got a fresh one. I thought it was a coincidence but a lot of the booths were like that. I figured a huge tray of fresh samples probably get inhaled quickly and are harder to monitor. Not to mention sneaky little kids that probably grab 3 or 4 brownie samples if possible. So funny little trick I thought.

Well other than the giant blob of butter and cream cheese, I only made one mistake...wait no, I made two mistakes. First was that I only brought one loaf of bread to the counter when I was supposed to somehow know that they were priced in pairs, so I had to RUN to the corner of the store to pick up my other loaf. It took a long time because Costco is like, huge. The second mistake is that I bought wastebasket liners. They ended up being these ultra transparent super thin garbage bags...think the trash cans you see at church. Brian and I laughed at this for a while. How am I supposed to know that wastebasket liners and trash bags are not the same thing? All I saw was that I could get 500 wastebasket liners for the price of 240 trash bags. So with 500 of these puppies we are set for...wait and I'll do the math...about a year and a half. And that's IF we dump the garbage at least once a day.

Nathan the Greathan!

Have you noticed that I haven't posted pictures of my family for a few months? It is because our computer had zero disc space left so I couldn't download them. But now we have cleaned up our computer and so I have some fun pictures to share.

Nate is now six months old!

His newest trick is sitting up. He is getting better at it everyday.

He starred as baby Jesus in the Christmas nativity. Notice the cute shepherd boy with the wild hair in the background.

Nathan's middle name is Douglas after my grandfather, father, and brother. It is a family name. I love these men so much. I've always known that I wanted to use it as a middle name and when we had Nathan it seemed like the right time. Here is a picture of my dad, grandpa, and Nate. I share a birthday with my grandpa. We've always had a great relationship.

Nathan is such a joy. He has gained more weight. He still isn't on the growth chart yet though. He is 13 pounds 2 ounces. Out of 200 kids he would be the second smallest, which is an upgrade from being the very smallest at 3 months the doc said. We anticipate him being on the growth chart by 9 months. He eats so much I still can't believe that he is so small.

And We Survived

This month we...

Got sick then got better.
Pushed through rehearsal after rehearsal, then concert after concert.
Drove 25 hours to Utah in one straight shot with two little ones.
Sang I Am a Child of God at least 600 times to keep David happy on the road.
Had a crazy fun vacation in Utah with the Salisbury family.
Drove 25 hours to Texas in one straight shot with two little ones, Christmas gifts, luggage, a bike trailer (thanks Amy, we've already used it!), and A Mormon in the White House on cd.
Sang I Am a Child of God 600 more times.
Cleaned up puke #1 on our drive home at 3 in the morning. Poor David.
Got sick again.
Puked again--twice. This time at home which was more convenient.
Watched Finding Nemo about 3 times a day for a week.
Ruptured an ear drum. Poor David. I promise I try to be a good mom.
A fall out of the car seat off the table and onto the tile floor while I was reminding David to stay in bed. (Don't know how Nate pulled that off, promise to buckle him in from now on when I feed him his sweet potatoes).

And we survived! Amazing :o)!