On being Yoo-Neek

Did you know the pronunciation guide in the dictionary for unique is seriously "yoo-neek"? I love that.

I sat down to post something non-motherhooddy but here I am and all I can think of is this:

I have read a handful of blogs today, all Mormon mothers that stay home with their children. And I could have been the author of any of the posts I read. Mostly they talked about the struggles and triumphs of our (Mormon mothers) situation: choosing to stay home with the kids rather than pursue a career.

I like to think of myself as someone that had a promising career (I had fabulous grades in college, I studied music and communication which both intersted me, I had a great internship that could have possibly landed me a great job). But instead of pursuing that career I chose to start a family and followed the teaching of my church which is that mothers, where possible, should be home with their children instead of putting them in another's care.

But I don't recall making that choice. I don't know that I ever even considered the alternative which is that I put my kids in day care, or maybe just didn't have any children. When I met Brian and got married it was a given. We didn't even think about another scenario. We started our family when we knew I could graduate from college, Brian got his education and got a job.

I wonder if it is like that on the flip-side. I wonder if most women (I'm talking non-mormons here) get their job and earn money because it is just the norm. It is a given. And maybe in the thick of the demands of their job, when they come home tired and stressed, they ever realize they could choose to live a completely different life, one where they have children and care for them at home.

Maybe when I have a really hard day and I wish for a different scenario, one where I have a career, there is a woman on the other side of the fence that wants what I have?

I guess what I'm saying is that you have to find happiness with what you've got. Even though on those hard, tiring days, I think I would possibly enjoy a career more than staying at home with my kids, the fact is, I probably wouldn't be.

When I read all these other blogs I don't feel lonely. I know EXACTLY what and how the other stay-at-hom moms are feeling. In fact, I'm amazed at how my situation is anything but unique.

It is when I think about myself compared to most women my age in the world that I feel unique. Really I shouldn't even be married yet, let alone have two children by the world's standards. The uniqueness comes by that comparison.

Not too long ago Brian and I had a small reception at a nice restaurant with the Houston Camerata, a choir we were both in at the time. We sat across from another couple that was probably in their fifties. They both had very busy, accomplished lives. They had no children. In fact, they were surprised to find that we had two children. They even asked if we were Catholic (when we told them we were Mormon they had no response). Probably they didn't grow up in big families. Maybe even they didn't have any siblings. They, like me, probably followed the examples of their parents, which for them was pursuing a career. They probably didn't even realize they had a choice.

Even though I never really gave much thought to life outside of being a stay at home mom, I'm still happy with what I have. I know that I could go get a job if I wanted one or felt like that was a better thing for my family, but for now, I'm sticking with being unique.

Writing Again

Hello Blog. I'm sorry I have neglected you for so long.

I think I'm going to start making this blog more of a place to write.

So here are some thoughts I've had lately...

One of the worse feelings in the world is picking up some trash on the floor and realizing when you've picked it up that it is a dead bug, or worse, a dried up frog.

Motherhood is still hard. But not hard in the literal sense. It is hard mentally. It requires daily positive self-talk. Negative thoughts are my worse enemy. I have to tell myself over and over to be more cheery, to think happy thoughts, to play with my children.

If I think too much about yesterday or tomorrow I go insane. One day at a time when you stay home with kids all day every day. If I can have a good day today, everything will be fine.

I'm always tired. I look tired. I can't get out of bed in the morning. I can't fall asleep at night. Pregnant you say? Nope. Your thyroid is low? Nope. I don't know what it is. Getting older I guess?

I find joy in focusing on my children and recognizing their personalities and unique gifts. When I take time to look at them more closely I can almost see them 10 or 15 years from now. And I feel lucky that I get to be around such cool people all the time.

I'm really blessed that I love cooking and baking so much because feeding my family is a big part of what I do.

Alright, I'm tired so I'm going to take a nap now while I have the chance.

Adieu.

Girls Camp, Utah Trip, and a bit of Geneology

Wow what a summer we've had! And it has been quite a while since I have done a proper post. Our summer has been so great...

In June I went to Girls Camp! It was so fun and so different than the Girls Camp I remembered in Utah where we slept in a sleeping bag in a tent and went to the bathroom in an outhouse that didn't flush and we didn't take showers and ate what we cooked over the fire. At Camp Ta-Ku-La we slept in cabins with air conditioning and ate cafeteria food together in a mess hall. There was no grueling hike, no snipe hunting, but a swimming pool and a water slide and warm showers. It still felt like girls camp though, despite all the differences. I learned a whole bunch of new camp songs, and taught the girls the songs I remember singing as a YW going to camp in Utah. Camp was five days instead of three or four and on the last night of camp there was no "lights out". I wouldn't have cared so much about the stake tradition of not going to bed the last night, except that the next morning as soon as I got home from camp, I would be driving 8 hours to Oklahoma City.

So on to that part of our trip. I was so excited to see my boys when I got home! I had missed them so. I took a shower, and we hit the road for our month long trip to Utah. We hit up Brian's family in OK City and Fort Collins, Colorado. We started our Utah trip with a Cook Family Reunion in Northern Utah. Part of the reunion was a surprise birthday party for my father-in-law. He turned 70! I bet most people my age don't have a 70 year-old father in law!

After the reunion we moved on down to PG and had a great 4th Utah style. I'm telling you, nothing beats Utah's Independence Day celebrations.

We spent a week in Rexburg with our wannabe grandparents and my awesome brother Tyrel and his wife and kids. Julia and David are two peas in a pod. I'll put pics up later and a more detailed post of our time with them. Also while we were in the Burg I got to meet up with Alea! It was so fun to catch up. Alea moved to Idaho when we were in High School and I had only been able to keep touch with her on blogger and facebook. It had been a long while since I had seen her and it was so nice to see her again.

I got to catch up with my other really good friends too and that is always so great. They are one big part of why I miss my Utah!

Nathan turned 1 on July 11th! Just this week he has started walking all around the house.

Brian turned 27 on the 18th...the same day my sister turned 17. They had an awesome birthday. Brian and I took the kids swimming, Rachel got to (finally) meet Jef Holm and tour his business in PG and get free stuff. I think she was on cloud 9. Later that night we celebrated by going to Los Hermanos and having cake and ice cream and games (which included Mexican Race Horses...my fave).

The Grand Finale to our trip was heading down to Fishlake, UT...which is one of the best places on earth...you just don't know it yet because you've never been there. We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary :). I'm going to blog more about that trip too.

Right before we left, we celebrated my grandma's 80th birthday. A few years ago I recorded my grandparent's life history. That propelled me on to bigger and better family history projects. After two years, I finished compiling and transcribing as much ancestry on the Salisbury family as I could find and put together a book for my grandma's birthday. The book included bios and pictures of our ancestors. I loved doing the project, and made me realize that bit by bit family history can get done and it does matter! I thought I would never get the project done, but one day it just came together. Every little bit counts! So the only pictures on the post will be a few of my favorites from my project that I already have saved on my computer.

My beautiful young grandmother, Belva Joan Salisbury.

My grandpa in the Korean War. His story amazed me. Nathan Douglas is named after him.

My Great-Grandpa Salisbury playing the mandolin.

My Great-Grandmother Coral Erickson Salisbury. Isn't Coral a beautiful name?

The best part of the whole trip for me was just being with my family. I love being around my parents and siblings so much. We have a great time together and laugh a lot. We can get pretty silly. In fact, I laugh to myself sometimes that most people don't know how weird I really am. Being around my family is so good...they force the seriousness right outta me which needs to happen from time to time.

So that, in a nutshell, is what we've been doing lately. Ciao.

UTAH, LET ME COME DETAIL YOUR CAR!!

Hi Guys! This is Brian, here.

I wanted to let everyone know that while we're in Utah during the month of July, I will be doing some Auto Detailing. I have only a limited number of days that I'll be available to detail your car, so if you're interested, send me an email at brian@jccook.net.

Here are some pictures of what your car could look like when I'm done with it! :o)

(Toyota Sienna)

Well, this is actually the BEFORE photo.
Here's the AFTER...

(BMW)

(Honda Odyssey)

(Buick LeSabre)

If you think you might be interested... read on!

My full detail service takes at least 8 hours. Can you imagine how much cleaner your car will be in that amount of time?! Treatments include:

Exterior

• Clean Wheels/Rims
• Hand Wash
• Clay Bar Treatment (further removes road dirt and contaminants)
• Polish the Clear Coat
• Wax to protect the Clear Coat
  

Interior

• Vacuum interior
• Shampoo carpets and seats (if cloth)
• Clean/Treat leather
• Treat/Protect vinyl and rubber, including dashboard
• Clean Glass and other surfaces

Rates for detailing depend primarily on the size of the car. Typically, they are as follows for the day-long service:

• 4-door Sedan --- $150
• Small, Cross-over SUVs --- $175-$200
• Mini-Vans, Large SUVs --- $225 - $250

You will love the feeling of driving down the road in a nice clean car! I get HUGE satisfaction by setting you up to go for another year or so in your clean-smelling car. If you have any questions, let me know.

Please reply to brian@jccook.net.

Happy Driving! See you real soon, Utah!

11 Questions

My friend tagged me in this so I'm doing it. I love these kind of things...don't you?

11 Questions: Post these rules
Post a photo and eleven random things about yourself
Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you
Create eleven new questions for the people you tag
Contact those you choose and let them know they've been tagged

11 Random Things About Myself:

1. I floss my teeth every single day.
2. I have TMJ problems and had to wear an ugly mouth guard 24/7 right after I was married. I still have issues and can't chew gum or eat popcorn or raw carrots anymore. Pooh.
3. I'm still trying to figure out this whole motherhood thing. But oh how I love my children!
4. I'm going to Girls Camp next week. We get to stay in air conditioned cabins. It is the Texas way. Yee haw.
5. I used to be a huge trouble-maker/prankster in middle school and even high school. I did some pretty crazy things. I regret it and get teased about it relentlessly by my family.
6. I am a direct descendant of Pocahontas.
7. I was a radio broadcaster for NPR and a religious radio station while I attended BYU-Idaho. I really loved it.
8. I have legit nightmares and wake up screaming on a regular basis. It freaks my husband out.
9. When we first moved to Texas my husband was victim of a gang initiation crime. It is a pretty funny and slightly scary story. I'll have to write about it sometime.
10. My husband wrote me a song and used the Men's Choir at BYU-Idaho to propose. I got a special VIP performance of it (he almost did it at the actual concert). Best engagement story ever.
11. I started a field on fire once with my friend when I was a little girl. It was a close call. My dad was a fireman at the time.

1. If you could live one day over again, what day would it be?---Most definitely my wedding day.
2. What is one thing you miss from your childhood?---Being near my family and friends. I miss my Utah stomping grounds so so much.
3. If you had 24 hours to live what would you do?---Hug and Kiss my children all day and lecture Brian about not getting remarried. Just kidding of course....maybe.
4. If you had to eat one thing the rest of your life, what would it be?---I really can't answer this question. I have tried and tried.
5. Favorite date night with your husband?---Once we went to a Fun Zone place that had those fast track race cars. We just went to see if we wanted to go mini-golfing there but got caught up watching these little kids race each other on the track. We watched them for a good hour or two and laughed hysterically. Maybe you had to be there but some of those kids were going so fast and would crash into each other or the wall. It was hilarious...and didn't cost a dime.
6. Salty or sweet?---Sweet. But not sugary. We're talking ice cream and cinnamon rolls. Not skittles and twizzlers...yucky.
7. What is one of your favorite memories from high school?---I had some really great memories in choir. I remember when I made the choir I auditioned for it was a happy day and a huge blessing to me (I realized later).
8. What would be your dream vacation?---I really would like to go to a perfect beach. Or Vail/Eagle/Aspen Colorado.
9. What is one thing that always makes your day better?---Scripture study. Personal meditation and reflection. Journal writing.
10. What is one thing you love about yourself?---I keep trying.
11. What is your biggest fear?---Intruders.I can't imagine having someone come in to my house to hurt me or my kids. A close second...never being able to eat ice-cream again or losing my legs...wait no, my arms.

Okay so I don't have time to come up with my own questions so I'm just going to re-use my friend's (getting ready to leave for Camp and Utah and have a million projects to finish).

I'm going to pass this off to Bethany and Alea...Bethany I chose you because you haven't updated in a while and I miss your posts. Alea, I know you read this blog and I would find your answers amusing.

Thanks for thinking of me Amy! That was fun!

Fathers and Sons AND Mothers too

My husband and sons are at their first ever father/son camp-out. Sending them out the door armed with long pants and bug repellent, I couldn’t help but feel just a little bit older and more mature than I usually do.

Speaking of more mature, my birthday is tomorrow. That is if this ever gets posted on the 18^th of May. Tomorrow I have to attend a meeting, but we have big dinner plans. In fact, I told Brian that we are going somewhere really nice to celebrate. We are talking $15 dollar a plate here people.

I’m going to be 24. When I realize the gravity of only being 24 and reaching only what I hope is a quarter of the life I’m supposed to live, I feel…relieved. I still have so much to learn. Sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders when it’s not at all. I have time to get it right. And as I look back on even just the last few years of my life, I can see how much I’ve grown (on the inside and out sadly).

One thing that I’ve learned recently is that you can’t go through two pregnancies without exercising much and eating whatever the heck you want and come out fit and trim as you’ve always been. It isn’t that I have gained a ton of weight, but the few extra pounds I have put on are most unwelcome. So a few months ago I decided to do something that I never thought I could really do, and that is wake up at 5 am and go running. Yes, I am finally one of those people. I never thought it would have to come to this, but here I am. I go three times a week. I run about 2 miles and have a 13-minute a mile pace. I am improving too, don’t you worry. My goal was to lose 10 pounds. That would put me about where I was pre-baby. Well folks, after running for about 8 or 9 weeks I have lost a total of .8 of a pound. I know right? So now I realize that you can’t eat whatever the heck you want even if you are getting up in the AM to go running. Sheesh. Can’t I just choose one? Eat healthy or exercise? It isn’t that I pig out on candy all day. Or that I don’t eat veggies. I love veggies. I love grilled meat. I love vitamins and drinking water. I heart green smoothies. I love sprouts. I mean come on! No, my downfall is my deep and abiding love of baking. One day last week it was a drizzly, cloudy, dark day. The kind of day that it just feels so right to stay inside and watch the storm out your window and BAKE. So that one day I made sugar cookies with lemon frosting, WHOLE WHEAT banana bread (in case you were worried I didn’t know what healthy food was and/or thought I didn’t like it), and those sinful little peanut butter cookies with the Hershey kisses. Man I love those.

I’m just so not okay with giving up cookies and delicious ice-cream sundaes, and milkshakes, and cinnamon rolls. Sorry Charlie. No can do.

So even though I’ve lost just less than one pound, I have lost inches, which has to count for something. And Brian thinks my chubby cheeks are loosing just a bit of chub…that is always a good thing.

Other than feeling more energized, etc, etc, etc, that comes with running, I really want to lose the weight so I can GAIN IT ALL BACK AGAIN in the form of another baby. No, I’m not pregnant. But eventually I would like to be, and it just seems better to start off where I had started with my first pregnancy, otherwise by baby number 13 I’m going to be one fat mama!

I’m realizing more and more what this “season” of my life is all about. Have the baby. Feed the baby. Feed yourself. Feed yourself and your baby cookies. Lose the weight. Repeat.

This is one seriously taxing stage of life. But I’m happy to do it. I love children. I love my children so much it just plain hurts sometimes. I can’t seem to kiss Nathan’s little face enough, and when David blows raspberries on my collarbone I feel like the luckiest mom in the world. And when I gaze into their perfect faces and notice their shining eyes and flawless baby skin I can’t help but feel grateful for the stretch marks and dark circles under my eyes. I grew these babies. I gave a portion of my youth to them that I will never have back on my person, but it manifests itself in their beautiful little faces and I’m so, so, so happy do have given them the gift of life.

Well my boys are walking in the door. David immediately told me that Brother Carter, his nursery teacher, was there as well as Santa. And Brian told me nobody had a quilt (I told him to take one for Nathan to sit on and he politely informed me that no man brings a quilt to a campout).

My Jolly Husband

To know the Cook family well you have to know Brian. He hardly ever posts on our blog so I will do the honors. Plus, I kind of really sort of love him a lot so he is on my mind at the moment.

Brian is a choir teacher. He has a masters degree in Choral Conducting and he is a middle school teacher at a very diverse school. For the most part his students are disrespectful, but he tries to make them laugh and he tries to make them behave even though they don't want to. He comes home with the craziest stories...probably not the type that I could share (unless my blog was private). Teachers are the bomb. I have way more respect for public school teachers than I have ever had. Especially good public school teachers.

Brian details cars for extra income and sheer entertainment. He finds joy in jobs that make a noticeable difference--like mowing the lawn.

Brian is at a complete loss in the kitchen. He has cooked maybe 4 or 5 meals in the four years we have been married. That excludes frozen pizzas. He can do those. 

Brian showers everyday without fail. Sometimes he showers twice a day. I can't remember a single day when he didn't take a shower. It may seem gross to you that I find that fascinating...I can think of plenty of times when I went a day or two without showering.

He teaches voice lessons...voice lessons that turn into guitar lessons or piano lessons. People think that he can teach anything musical which is actually probably true. 

Brian has never criticized me. If the house is a mess he doesn't say a word about it. If a meal I make is not as good as I had hoped, he still thanks me for it and sings my praises (a little something I have learned is that if you marry someone that can't cook at all you will be sooooo appreciated. He tells me over and over again how lucky he is to be fed so well. I try to tell him most Mormon women can cook well--I haven't met any that can't put a good meal together and probably should just generalize that to all women--but he still thinks I'm exceptionally good at it).

He wins trophies.

 

He greets our children with energy and enthusiasm everyday. He plays and plays and plays with them. In short, he is a good daddy. 

He is funny. And I know funny. 

(Pictures taken the last day of school before Spring Break. We had a little too much fun with David's balloons. And let me tell you, I could have posted worse pictures but I didn't.)

 

He tries to make me laugh and brightens my day by leaving me little notes or doing the dishes in the early hours of the morning. Just yesterday I woke up to find a giant note left for me on our bathroom mirror written in marker. "ITS YOUR DAY" the note said, along with "I LOVE KAYLA COOK" and a giant circle where my reflected face would go that said above it, "I AM AWESOME" and an arrow pointing down to the outlet that said "You don't have to blow dry your hair today because it is your day!" and at the bottom a PS "I thought of this idea in the shower. I hope it is a good one." Let me tell you what he meant by that.

Brian is a very deep thinking shower taker. His best, worst, (and sometimes weirdest) ideas come to him while showering. This is due mostly to the fact that he isn't really awake until he gets out. The funniest idea that he had in the shower lately was a wedding gift that he thought to give a couple that was getting married at the school he works at. That particular day the faculty was invited to share their congratulations during lunch or something. Brian had very few encounters with the couple, maybe only a "hi" in the hallway, but he remembered when he first met the groom that he discovered that Brian was a Mormon and he said something like "Ah! I used to date a Mormon." So with this bit of information in the back of his mind, he thought of giving the new couple (neither of them members) a copy of The Family Proclamation to the World. But instead of just sticking a folded up copy in a nice note of congratulations, he thought he would put it in a frame. So on his way to work he stopped at Walmart and bought a frame for the nice copy of the proclamation we already had on hand. He bought a cute gift bag and tissue paper and a card to explain the gift to the couple. Now don't get me wrong, I was impressed with Brian's courage in giving something to them that has been so meaningful to us in our marriage. But when Brian got to school and actually began to wake up out of the half-sleep he usually is in when he is thinking in the shower he realized that not only did none of his co-workers have a gift for the couple, but he actually did not know these people at all. He realized that maybe he should re-think his wedding gift and at the end of the day, the gift came home with Brian along with his explanation. I'm usually still in bed while he takes his shower in the morning so he had to explain the whole process of the gift gone wrong. Only it was well intended and he hopes to give them a copy of it someday...just maybe not a framed copy for their wall since that might be a little overboard. 

Brian aspires to work in the choral department at a university somewhere (preferably one in Utah or Idaho that starts with "B") or if that doesn't work out for us we'll take The Mormon Tabernacle Choir...but only if we have to. And first he will need a doctorate degree... 

Well I don't know how many people have read this, but I know that Brian will and that is the whole point! I love you my jolly husband!