I haven't really had the chance to sit down and write about natural childbirth. Now that I'm up for round two it has been on my mind a lot. Especially because I'm frequently asked if I'm going to go natural again with this baby.
I'd like to say that I gave birth without medication because I wanted to experience the power of my body and what birth was actually all about.
Don't get me wrong, that was an amazing (yet horribly painful) part of having my baby without medication, but I'm going to tell you the real reason I did it.
I'm a chicken!
I know this seems ironic, but really I did it without medication because the word "epidural" kind of makes me shudder. There is something whole and satisfying about letting your body do the thing it was made to do. There is something unnatural and freaky about a long skinny needle inserted into your spinal fluid.
But still I am open to the idea of an epidural because I do remember the pain of natural childbirth. My labor was roughly 12 hours. The first 8 hours were totally manageable. I wasn't even making much noise with those contractions. I did laundry, made Sunday dinner, took a shower, etc. It just felt like bad cramps which were no big deal.
The last four hours were harsh. Real harsh. These were the "scream contractions". Yet I knew that it wouldn't last forever. And it didn't. And I only threw-up once. Not bad.
And so I was going back and forth on the decision with this baby. Part of me feels like I can handle those rough four hours again. Part of me gets exhausted at the thought of doing it the same way again. But am I frightened of natural childbirth? Not really. The epidural is what gets me.
Let's cut to the chase. I'll tell you why I'm posting about this. The other night Brian and I had dinner with a couple in our ward that is about our age. We have a lot in common because they went to BYU-Idaho for their undergrad degrees and now they moved here for a grad program. My friend's husband is finishing his schooling to be a anesthesiologist. In fact he is so far along in his degree that now he is an intern and is basically getting real life experience incubating and epiduraling people up. So I took the opportunity to talk his ear off about the epidural.
Me: "So what exactly happens when you give an epidural?"
Him: "Well you inject a small (but long) needle into the dura mater that is under the epidermis in the lower back to insert anesthesia in to the spinal fluid."
Me: "So my sister got a bad headache after getting an epidural and she had to lay flat on her back. What is that all about?"
Him: "Well the headache is fairly common. Hardly a complication. It just means that part of the spinal fluid leaked out. This caused the fluid that holds her brain in place to lessen so her brain shifted. If that happens you just takes some blood from the arm and inject it into the spine. The blood will help clot wherever the spinal fluid is leaking."
Me: "Oh"
Him: "The needle has a bit of air in it and when you inject the needle you have to wait for a small pop feeling before you know it is in the right place. If the needle is inserted too far than there can be complications. If you get a good anesthesiologist you shouldn't have any spinal fluid leak out."
Me: "What is the biggest reason you wouldn't give a patient an epidural?"
Him: "Patient consent." (I guess the real bad stuff happens when the patient is freaked out and won't hold still)
Me: "What is the worst case scenario?"
Him: "Paralysis."
Me: "Okay, so if you were a woman and were experiencing labor, would you get the epidural."
Him: (After a surprisingly long pause) "To me paralysis is worse than death so I guess I wouldn't risk it even if the chances are small."
Seriously? The anesthesiologist wouldn't get the epidural? That sort of sealed the deal for me. If the smaller side effect is headache, and the worse side effect is paralysis, I think I'll opt out. I know that not everyone experiences a side effect either. I also know that if I need an emergency C-section I'll be sorry I didn't get the epidural because it makes it a lot easier. But the headache and paralysis are only part of a list of other negatives. A catheter to urinate? Dizziness? Prolonged labor? Infection?
Yeah, I'll stick to those horrible four hours of pain. Even if the chances of side effects are small, I'm not going to risk it. I'm with the anesthesiologist.
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14 comments:
Ok, just reading your post made me light-headed...and I actually had epidurals with both of my babies. I'm a chicken too! But the thought of pain was worse for me than my fear of needles. And after my last epidural barely kicked in on time and I felt most of labor...well, I don't want to do that again. But way to go!
You are one tough girl. To be honest I loved the epidural. When I spoke with AFs anesthesiologist he highly recommended it and that's one of the many reason I got one kinda funny. This is one of those topics that is to each their own. Maybe a few more kids and I'll try it natural... Just a maybe though.
i'm glad you're passionate about it, cause then when you get into those kinds of conversations with other women you'll be able to back yourself up. I hate it when people are opinionated just because and they don't do their research. I'll be honest, i'm kinda freaked out now after reading this (probably only cause i'm due next week....if that wasn't so then i wouldn't be scared) but i'm glad you voiced your feelings here cause it's giving me more to think about and consider. I'm so intrigued that the anesthesiologist himself wouldn't get the epidural....i wonder what made him go into that field in the first place? does that mean that he doesn't believe in it? That kinda confuses me....but like your other friend said, to each their own, and hopefully i don't get paralysis! : ) hahaha. i'm so impressed with you kayla, and i always have been. you think you're a chicken but you're one of the toughest people ever!! you were pregnant, a full time student, in the RS presidency, and had that jaw problem all at the same time. Admit it, you're tough. : )
EEK, the blood idea I don't like so much. I mean, he is the doc, I am sure he knows what he is doing, but scar tissue in the spinal column can lead to shunts! That is exactly why the twins had to get them.
Anywho, that aside, complications can happen from giving birth anyway you go about it. My sis in law ALWAYS has a natural birth. This last time she hemorraged and nearly bled to death. That is TOTALLY not meant to freak you out, but just to put it in to perspective. I would love to see a number of epiderals done in a day and then see the number that had any kind of negative reaction. I have only heard about it twice. Lisa and another friend. Only headaches, which is minimalizing how bad those headaches can hurt, because that is what Dawson felt all the time.
I had a light epideral with Jake. I wanted to be able to feel the pressure, but it took care of the contractions and took the edge off the pain. I liked it. In fact, there is nothing like sleeping through labor to help give you a bit of strength for the pushing. Then afterwards, because it was a light/walking epidural, I could get up and walk around without a problem.
With the twins I got an epideral 4 different times. I was in labor for a week. If they tried to stop the contractions I would dilate. So, I kept on. Contractions hitting like a son of a gun at a 6.5 for 1 week straight. Hardest stinking thing I have ever done. They gave me an epidural because they worried that if I struggled through the birthing process it increases stress on the babies and would make it harder for them. I have had 5 epidurals and no problems.
All that being said, I seriously think you are one tough chica! David was no small baby! I loved that you were passionate enough to not give yourself another option. You wanted it natural, and you did it. One of these days, I think, you should try an epidural!
By the way, I was COMPLETELY freaked out by the catherter idea! TOTALLY! I kept stressing about them putting one it. I asked the nurse when it was going to happen, convinced it would be horribly painful, and she told me it was already it. Total breeze! Then, I had like hours without worrying about needing to pee! :)
Alright, how is that for the longest comment E.V.E.R!
I LOVE YA! :)
I didn't have to get the blood out of my arm thing. I just had to drink tons of water so that the spinal fluid replenish itself.
Anywho, the choice is yours, there are pros and cons to both. I haven't heard of anyone who has actually been paralized from an epidural before. I would be interested to know how many there are.
Hope all is going well.
Love you
I think i am going to copy and paste this entry. It helps put things into perspective. Also your labor this time around might be even shorter than before, maybe easier too.
After giving birth naturally four times I finally had my first epidural when I gave birth to you. I laughed through the whole labor process. I couldn't believe that I didn't feel a thing. However, I felt much like you did and was so glad for the opportunity to have those first four experiences to see how strong I actually am and to see what my body is capable of. I found the natural experience to be exhilirating and well worth it. I liked the epidural experience because I had so much more energy and less soreness afterward.
I questioned the epidural for a long time (obviously) and really didn't consider it until I heard more about the anesthesiologist who would do it and found out that he was a perfectionist and had never experienced any complications. He did my epidurals for you, Rachel and Parker. If he hadn't been the one on call each time, I may not have gone through with it. I was very lucky the epidural was in and ready to go when we had to do the emergency C-section with Parker. The worst things I ever heard about epidurals are the headaches, inability to use your legs when you are ready to, and I had a friend whose epidural numbed her chest and she felt that she couldn't breathe and had panic attacks all through her labor.
I'm sure you will always know what is best for you. I also think you are very tough for going the natural way. After all, I was the one who was there and seen how much doctor and hospital things frightened you as you were growing up. I am impressed at how well you have overcome that fear. You surely have become one tough cookie for this reason and more.
I love you,
MOM
You are tough Kayla! I've always thought that, just like Bethany!! In fact, you were partly my inspiration to go natural with Lincoln. I really wanted to anyway, but after hearing that you did it, I was that much more determined. I'm not afraid of the epidural, but after having one with and one without, I prefer going without. There is just something reassuring about now having to worry about anesthesia complications, like you said. And I felt so much better after having Lincoln naturally than after having Lilimae with the epidural. Having an epidural is definitely easier and more comfortable, but I still prefer the natural route.
whoops. *not* having to worry...
Very interesting topic, and I think people have some strong feelings either way. I have to say that my epidural with clara was the best money I have ever spent, and that is saying something coming from someone as cheap as I am! It was just enough to keep me from crying and writhing in pain, but it allowed me to "experience childbirth" and still feel the contractions. And the pressure/pinch from the needle is NOTHING compared to pain from an intense contraction. I think people that can remember the pain from the needle must've got it earlier in labor when the contractions weren't as intense. I too researched the risk and whatnot and found that the spinal headache occurs in 1% and it was something like 1 in 150,000 occur in paralysis. I think I was at worse risk for paralysis by getting in my car and riding to the hospital.
That being said, if my next labor is any faster than my last (about 6.5 hours from water breaking to delivery) I'm open to to saving a few hundred bucks and going natural. My cheapness just might over-rule my desire for pain relief... and I might not even have the option if the hospital is as slow to call in the anesthisiologist as they were last time! I guess we'll see.
And as for that anesthesiologist, I would never use the services of someone that had such little faith in what they were doing! That's just crazy to me! That's like me saying "yeah, I'll spot you on a back-handspring, but I wouldn't do it myself because the person spotting me might let me land on my head."
Sorry for the novel. I think you are one tough cookie! And I also think the biggest thing with the natural v. epidural debate is to just go with what you believe in. Those women (like you and my sis-in-law) that go in determined to go natural can do it. Others that aren't set on it will usually opt for some pain relief, and I don't think that's a bad thing at all! And others, (like me) went in knowing they'd want an epidural... So have the nurse call the anesthesiologist to drive the 45 minutes into town before I get to a six please! ;)
Wow, a lot of feelings both ways. It's interesting to read how other people feel about the epidural vs natural birth. I would like to learn more about the "FACTS"....I have heard that an epidural supposedly slows down your labor, but I know girls who had an epidural that were in labor a shorter time than people who went natural. Sometimes there are crazy statistics put out there that don't have the strongest footing. Last week a girl on my basketball team told me 1 in 10 girls who have a c-section their first baby and try for a VBAC on the second end up rupturing at the incision, which leads to near death?!? WHA???? Ha! It kinda freaked me out for a moment considering I will be trying for a VBAC. But I took a step back and realized her supposed "facts" were probably just something she heard from someone else. Crazy things you hear when it comes to babies.
The way I see it, just driving in a car every day probably puts you at risk for paralysis. Lots of things do. Football players have neck injuries and what not.
Kayla, the great thing about your decisions is you do what YOU want to do despite what other "suggestions" you get. Just keep going with your gut....or should I say uterus. :)
Kayla, I think perhaps you are one of my all time heroes. One of my favorite people. Seriously.
And for many reasons. Not just the fact that you are one of the toughest women I know!!
I couldn't do natural. I mean, I did kind of try. But since I wasn't progressing they put me on Pitocin. Then after a couple hours the nurse turned it up. Then I thought I might die. Then I asked for the epidural right now! When they turned down the pit so the anesthesiologist {holy cow, that's a hard word to spell!!} could give me the epidural, I was totally fine and managing my own contractions without a problem. If I could go into labor on my own and progress like my body is just supposed to do anyway, I think I would love to try natural. With the pit . . . no WAY, Jose! That stuff hurts.
But way to decide what you want to do and have some research behind your decision! I was glad I had my epidural. 24 hours of labor plus an hour and a half of pushing would have practically killed me without it. But I think you are awesome to decide what you are going to do and to move forward with that decision. Again, you are my hero! Love ya!
One thing to remember, Kayla, is that for many women (perhaps most...certainly for me and my family) is that the second labor is shorter than the first. 4 hours of intense labor might be half that this next time (maybe a lot less, and maybe not at all). Adam was 9 hours total, Joseph about 11 (but the intense part was only half of Adam's) and Sam...1-1/2 hours from the first real contraction to his first breath (all very intense, though) and they were all born without pain meds.
And don't rule out natural pain relief methods. I had my 3rd using HypnoBabies and it worked wonderfully! If you have time to take a HypnoBabies class, I recommend you do. It works and there are no drugs involved...there are absolutely no risks or possible side effects. It's great!
Oh, and if your birthing place of choice allows for it, try a water birth. There is one word for that...a soft, sighing, "aaahhhhhhhh."
But really, most importantly, is that you make your choice prayerfully and have faith in His help and comfort. Good luck with number 2!!
Wow, talk about opening up a can of worms! This is a subject that I am starting to get really passionate about, having had a c-section with my first, and very determined to do all that I can to have a natural VBAC with the second.
It's good to see others that are also starting to think about these things for themselves, and not just going with "whatever my doctor thinks is best." Each woman is different, and each women's body is different, and if an epidural, induction, c-section, etc. is what happens to work best for her and her baby, that's fine. But it makes me so sad to see so many women around me who are uninformed and ignorant concerning labor and birth, and just go along with whatever their doctor happens to decide is "best" for them.
Women need to be informed, and need to make informed decisions. If a woman makes an important decision about her birth (whether pro or con), I hope that she makes that decision based on her own research and knowledge, and not because of what her doctor pressures her to do, or what her friends have told her is "best."
Everyone and their dog has horror stories about this and that, from both sides of the table, whether pro-epidural or con-epidural. Kudos to you for rationally considering both sides, and I hope that all goes well with this second baby =)
ps. sorry for such a long response =(
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