Help! How do I get him to sleep better at night?
Situation: He still sleeps in my bedroom in his little bassinet. What? I can't help it. I'm anxious about the crib transition. I know, I know. I would sleep better if I couldn't hear every snort and grunt.
So I'm mostly told to let him cry it out. Ouch. But it always seems to work in the end. In fact, the best kid sleepers I know cried like this when they were babies. And he won't remember crying it out anyway. So what am I waiting for?
But I tried it for like ten minutes...and surprisingly daddy was the first to crack.
So any advice would be helpful. And if I could offer advice to new moms it would be this: Spend just as much time preparing for motherhood as you do for labor and pregnancy!
By the way, he had three shots today. He ran a pretty good fever tonight and winced whenever my hands got close to his little thighs. I'm grateful for Tylenol.
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2 years ago
11 comments:
you HAVE to get him in that crib...I promise it's gonna help!! Just get you a monitor!! It's hard to let them cry when they are right next to you and can see you!! I know you can do it!! Another thing I learned is when they cry for a longer amount of time, instead of picking them up just sit next to them rub their belly or their head...just DON'T take him out. At least that worked for little Emma!! It takes time but I promise he will start sleeping...and Brian don't break after 10min you silly man, stay strong!! I know it's hard but you really got to let them cry it out and put themselves to sleep!!
I hope it gets better soon!! Love ya,
Aly
i completely agree. No one warns you about being a mom. they all warn you about pregnancy. I had a rough time too. there are a lot of good books and articles out there to help you though. there's a lady called the baby whisperer. She says that you should use the E.A.S.Y. method. Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time. She suggests that you establish a good routine, starting with Eating first and then playing with them and then Sleep. She said to do it for naps and bedtime. always have a routine. It's worth a shot. I personally could never let Isaiah cry it out. I know they say if you don't get them to fall asleep on their own by the time they are 2 they will never figure it out. but there are other options then letting them cry it out. They just take longer. good luck and call me anytime you want to or need to. I may not know it all but i can at least listen to what you are struggling with. 801-494-9079
We waited until Wade was about 9 months to let him start crying it out in his crib...it was hard. You could try rocking him JUST until he starts to get tired and then put him down. But don't let him fall asleep rocking or he'll get used to it. Good luck. The crying is hard, but a mama needs her sleep!
Personally I do not like the crying it out method I think its harsh, but every parent has there own way of parenting and there is nothing wrong with parents that let there babies cry them selves to sleep, on that note both kids were in my room until they were 4-5 months old, once they were in there crib they did sleep much better, I always would bath,feed and then rock until they were really sleepy and then put them in there bed, and they both would go to sleep on there own, for nap time, put him down at the same time every day, I always just put them in there cribs even if they are wide awake and happy, because trust me they are tired, he will eventually talk himself to sleep or realize man im pretty tired and fall fast asleep. there are some times when they are overly tired and even if you are rocking them they will cry because they are SOOO tired that is when I put my lil dude in his crib and he will fuss for 1 min, and then he is out cold I never let him fuss for longer then 2 minutes even if he is overly tired I just dont like it when my kids cry.. you may have to transition him from bassinett to crib, the crib is much larger then his bassinett so he could have a hard time sleeping in there at first, I would put Ryden in his crib for naps even though he slept in my room at night.. and then I eventually put him in his crib at bed time, the first night was awful I WAS up ALL night long checking on him and Saige even though I had a monitor in my room and could here them breathing:) parent hood is hard but well worth it, good luck with what ever decision you make...
I am TOTALLY against letting a baby cry it out. But then again, I'm sure you know that......:o) Good luck figuring this all out.
Well, I don't have any kids, so my advise may be seen by some as unfounded & like "what does she know?". However - I am the oldest of 8. I know the only way my mom ever got the kids to learn to sleep on their own was to let them cry it out. It's hard - really hard - but it does teach them to go to sleep on their own. Also, my sister-in-law put her son to sleep every night for his first year because she didn't want to make him cry and he still doesn't sleep well, and she's the only one who can get him to sleep. She says that she wishes she would have taught him learn to go to sleep on his own earlier. There are other methods if you don't like the idea of crying it out {try these books: "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West, "Solve your child's sleep problems" by Richard Ferber, "Sleeping through the Night" by Jodi Mindell -- maybe the library would have them?}.
I also just read this article in Parents magazine about helping teach your child to sleep on his own and through the night. It was incredibly informative and included alternative ways to the "let-him-cry-it-out" method. For the life of me, I can't seem to find it online to share the article with you. Maybe I'll mail it to ya. But you can also go to Parents.com and just search for "sleeping" {I found the best results by searching "age by age sleep training"} and see if you can find any ideas to helping you and baby sleep better at night. I did find this article that was helpful: http://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/basics/what-to-expect-in-the-first-year/. Anyway, I hope you can figure something out that works for you guys. Good luck! Love ya!
SERIOUSLY...GO GET HEALTHY SLEEP HAPPY BABY! Once I red that book, it changed my life! Oh, there are many "Tsk Tsk"s and shaking heads, but when it was bedtime, I simply laid Jake down and said goodnight and walked out. Next morning HAPPY JAKE! He was the best sleeper and it totally makes a HUGE difference!
I think the book said not to start letting them cry it out until they are 4 months. Oh it is hard! I sat downstairs and cried myself! Some kids cry for hours, but others, like Jake like 30 min. Next night 15. Next like 5 and then not again. EVER! He got it!
My sister in law was my biggest critic and refused to do the same with her first...however, the second, well, totally did it and even when her oldest was 4 she was cursing the fact that she didn't do it with him too! He is 10 now and has the hardest time falling to sleep. He has to wear himself to exhaustion or no go!
Ask Lisa, she also was a critic. Her and Ryan both, but they did it later and praise it too!
The book is written by a sleep specialist....GET IT!
And...I LOVE YOU! :) Hang in there! This too shall pass! :)
The first thing I would suggest if you haven't already is get into a normal routine. For Carter, He wakes up, I feed him breakfast, give him a bath, rub him down, get him dressed and then give him a bottle and put him down for a nap. According to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Your baby needs to set his biological rhythym. So say he wakes up at 7am. Make his first nap about two hours after he wakes up. during those two hours play with him, feed him, bath him, rub him down, play and feed him again then lay him down. If he naps good- when he wakes up- feed him, let him play, run errands, but be sure you are home in two hours for his next nap- feed him and put him to sleep. Before bed time, play and give him a rub down, put him in his pajamas and sing to him, feed him as much as you can, then put him down for the night- in a crib out of your room (use a monitor).
Letting your baby cry it out won't teach then how to learn to sleep. You may have to do that when they are older, but not now.
According to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child-
"Babies and children learn sleep when parents focus on timing, motionless sleep (in crib, not in car seat or arms), and consistency in soothing style.
So did you check your library? If they don't have it let me know and you can borrow my "Heathly Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book.
Let me know.
Love you.
Haha...well, well, well! Long lost friends indeed! Thanks for finding us. Look at you two--parents and all, worrying about your first born's sleeping habits. :-) You picked a good name: all David's are handsome!!
I also used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" that someone above mentioned. It works for my babies. What I had to do whas give the baby his own room, and then while he cried it out (it only took 4 days, by the way), I shut his door then I stayed in the opposite end of the apartment, listening to music and distracting myself in every way possible. It was hard for Jeff, too, but now our children are mostly great sleepers! I'm about to go through it again with Sammy...
Good luck!
Brian and Kayla!
Ok, first thank you for posting about this subject, as you know Emma is almost 6 months old and...still waking up 3 to 4 times during the night, Jared and I are amazed at the fact that we have not had a full night sleep for almost 6 months!! that has to be some sort of record. Anyway, Emma does have a "before bedtime ritual" though, we play her sleeping music and she recognizes it now, so she knows ist's bedtime, sometimes she starts crying when the music starts playing it's cute and funny, but we have noticed that since she started recognizing the music it was almost as if she was putting herself to sleep, so now it is really not hard at all to put her down for a nap or to bed.
Our problem is to keep her sleep, she sleeps in her own crib since she was born but we keep her crib in our bedroom.
We have been thinking for a long time about what we should do to help her sleep all through the night, we decided that our best bet was to let her cry, the problem is the execution of the plan...everytime we try (and believe me we have tried A LOT of times) we always go in her rescue..it is so hard!!
In conclusion Jared and I we will both be praying so that us couples of loving parents can find the best method to put our little angels to sleep all night through. We'll figure it out ;)
We love you guys!!
Pamela and Jared Mangum
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