Today I had an interesting doctor appointment with Nathan and David. Nathan has gained 10 oz. in about 2 months, so now he weighs 9 lbs. 12 ounces. I knew he was small and predicted that the doctor would say to beef up the formula intake. Shoot. I thought I had a good nurser this time! Which I do, but my milk is too skim and Nate's metabolism is too active. So he is definitely no where near being on the chart. David I learned today, is on the chart but dropping. So he hit a spurt and now is slacking off. Not too big of a deal. I guess the point is both my boys are small for their age. I keep asking myself why I am surprised. All I need to do is look at Brian and then I can say "Oh yeah...you're the dad huh?". But the doctor suggested kidney and liver screens for both of them. That's when I knew being underweight can kind of be a serious medical issue. My gut tells me they are okay, that it is just genetics, which even the doctor agreed with, so I think I'll wait on further tests for now. Part of the deal for me is that babies in my family, the Salisbury family, are generally fat. I was pretty fat. Brian was no where NEAR fat and never has been chubby. So who knows? My mom and I joke that a fat little baby girl is coming my way in the future. She'll take after me and my family and gang up on her brothers. Or maybe I won't have a girl. Maybe I'll just have a bunch of skinny blue eyed boys. Which is okay too. So I'll breastfeed Nathan until my supply runs out, which it likely will as I increase his formula intake. It is funny because this is almost exactly how long I made it nursing David. I just need to embrace the fact that I can still be a good mom if I don't nurse my babies for a year. But I never imagined I would have a hard time breastfeeding my babies. But that's life right? Full of twists and turns you never anticipate.
Nathan is definitely spirited and lively. He has awesome head control, he rolls over, he giggles and kicks his legs. Yet a lot of people are surprised that he is four months old and that he wasn't a preemie.
Anyway. I guess that is all I wanted to say. Just a little vent.
9 comments:
Oh, I am sorry about that disappointment. I had a hard time when I realized that what I produced wasn't enough for Livie. She wasn't losing weight and gained fine, but she would scream from being so hungry until we eventually just gave her formula to supplement. And of course, my supply just gradually diminished after that. It's hard, but yes, you are still a good mom. And it is so very true that we just have to roll with the punches, take life as it comes, and realize we can't control everything. Thanks for always being so real. It helps knowing you aren't the only one who has struggled. Have fun with those skinny boys! :)
During Christmas break me and your boys will hit the weights...hardcore.
I can totally relate! It is such a hard, emotional struggle. I always thought that I would nurse for a year and had the hardest time realizing that it wasn't enough for my baby. Good luck. And as Jessica said, thank you for being so real on your blog. It helps for me to know that I am not the only Mom who struggles :) P.s. Your boys are so stinking cute!
You're doing a great job! I know it's always been hard for me to pull the plug on breastfeeding, makes you feel like you're doing something wrong. I hate that. But I'm sure he'll do great:)Such cute boys!
PS
I wanted to comment on your grocery post but couldn't. The can of soup thing made me laugh out loud! I can totally relate! It gets better...a little...
LOOK AT THAT FACE!! Oh my gosh! I can't wait to snuggle him!
I remember when I couldn't nurse the twins anymore and I was SO sad! I totally felt like I was failing them. That is a hard one to get past.
However, it made me grateful that there is the option of formula and that they are always trying to improve and perfect them. I guess I could compare it to infertility. Some womens bodies are capable of getting pregnant in the natural way. Some are not and require intervention. Man alive, am I ever grateful for intervention! It wasn't pleasant and certainly not the best way to get pregnant, but where my body was unable to provide, I was sure thankful that modern technology picked up my slack and the outcome was the same! I had 3 kids, thanks to that! Where your body can't provide the fat your little metabolizers need, there is another option and it is a GOOD option!
You are an amazing Mom Kayla! The happy little faces on your boys is evidence of that for sure!
Love ya!
his little face is seriously so perfect. and dang, i had no idea you had nursing troubles and couldn't nurse your babies through the first year either!! I'd love to talk with you about it sometime.......
I only nursed jack till he was 6 months old and was plagued with guilt. I'm over it now but yeah, it's pretty tough. I like how you said that you can embrace the fact that you can still be a mom mom if you don't nurse your babies. : ) You're awesome.
I love how everybody who comments on this blog thinks that my wife is an amazing mother...
because I do to.
:o)
Hi, I would LOVE that video. Could you email it if its not to big? If its to big Ross said there is a site called Picasso where you can download videos and share them. my email is: wagstaffsara@yahoo.com
Oh goodness do I know the feeling! I felt like such a failure every time Clara would drop in the weight chart... But her doctor would always say, "she's perfectly healthy, she's just petite." I have a hard time hearing that and then being told that I need to do something else (or something more) than what I'm doing. I especially had a hard time when they wanted me to supplement with formula. I don't know why. I know lots of great, healthy kids that ONLY ever ate formula. My supply was never really great, but Clara seemed to want to nurse every two hours anyway. Maybe she was comforted by it and maybe she just wasn't getting enough milk. I don't know. We did make it to a year, but not without quite a bit of supplementing. We'll see how baby #2 gets along.
Now Clara still doesn't eat much, but she has more energy than any other one year old I know. So long as she is acting healthy and happy I will try not to worry too much, but gosh... This being a mom thing and not knowing what to do is sure hard! It makes me grateful that we are entitled to inspiration on that topic. :)
Kayla, you're amazing. You are doing a GREAT job!
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