Friday, January 11, 2013

Writing Again

Hello Blog. I'm sorry I have neglected you for so long.

I think I'm going to start making this blog more of a place to write.

So here are some thoughts I've had lately...

One of the worse feelings in the world is picking up some trash on the floor and realizing when you've picked it up that it is a dead bug, or worse, a dried up frog.

Motherhood is still hard. But not hard in the literal sense. It is hard mentally. It requires daily positive self-talk. Negative thoughts are my worse enemy. I have to tell myself over and over to be more cheery, to think happy thoughts, to play with my children.

If I think too much about yesterday or tomorrow I go insane. One day at a time when you stay home with kids all day every day. If I can have a good day today, everything will be fine.

I'm always tired. I look tired. I can't get out of bed in the morning. I can't fall asleep at night. Pregnant you say? Nope. Your thyroid is low? Nope. I don't know what it is. Getting older I guess?

I find joy in focusing on my children and recognizing their personalities and unique gifts. When I take time to look at them more closely I can almost see them 10 or 15 years from now. And I feel lucky that I get to be around such cool people all the time.

I'm really blessed that I love cooking and baking so much because feeding my family is a big part of what I do.

Alright, I'm tired so I'm going to take a nap now while I have the chance.

Adieu.







4 comments:

Whitney said...

Kayla I feel your pain. Especially cant get out of bed, and cant sleep at night. Ugh. Luckily we have been putting together little play groups that get us out of the house for a min. Being a mom is a lot harder than i thought. I'm so glad you shared this. Glad i'm not alone. Your boys are so cute!

Ross said...

You are definitely not alone. Keep the writing up, it helps us all.
p.s. its about time you updated this blog!

Jessica :) said...

I sympathize completely! It is hard to keep up the energy—physical, mental, spiritual—it takes to be a mom. It makes me love Sundays even more when I get spiritually renewed and I have a hubby helping for at least most of the day. Anyway, I sure don't have any answers on the mental/physical strain. Maybe it'll get easier someday? Sure makes us admire our mothers more, huh?

Alea Peters said...

Oh Kayla, I totally sympathize! I had a long chat (mostly me venting) with Dennis last night. I remember telling him, "I'm just tired." So he said, "Well let's go to bed." But I had to explain, "Yes, I am tired right now, but it's more than that. It's a perpetual fatigue."

But I think you are spot on about motherhood being hard. The tasks in themselves are not difficult, but it is so easy to become caught up in those negative thoughts. If I wake up in the morning, exhausted becuase I have yet again had to get up five times in the night and think about tomorrow night where it will surely be much of the same thing, my whole day is just blah.

Thank you for this post. Sometimes I am comforted knowing that I am not alone in my feelings!