On being Yoo-Neek

Did you know the pronunciation guide in the dictionary for unique is seriously "yoo-neek"? I love that.

I sat down to post something non-motherhooddy but here I am and all I can think of is this:

I have read a handful of blogs today, all Mormon mothers that stay home with their children. And I could have been the author of any of the posts I read. Mostly they talked about the struggles and triumphs of our (Mormon mothers) situation: choosing to stay home with the kids rather than pursue a career.

I like to think of myself as someone that had a promising career (I had fabulous grades in college, I studied music and communication which both intersted me, I had a great internship that could have possibly landed me a great job). But instead of pursuing that career I chose to start a family and followed the teaching of my church which is that mothers, where possible, should be home with their children instead of putting them in another's care.

But I don't recall making that choice. I don't know that I ever even considered the alternative which is that I put my kids in day care, or maybe just didn't have any children. When I met Brian and got married it was a given. We didn't even think about another scenario. We started our family when we knew I could graduate from college, Brian got his education and got a job.

I wonder if it is like that on the flip-side. I wonder if most women (I'm talking non-mormons here) get their job and earn money because it is just the norm. It is a given. And maybe in the thick of the demands of their job, when they come home tired and stressed, they ever realize they could choose to live a completely different life, one where they have children and care for them at home.

Maybe when I have a really hard day and I wish for a different scenario, one where I have a career, there is a woman on the other side of the fence that wants what I have?

I guess what I'm saying is that you have to find happiness with what you've got. Even though on those hard, tiring days, I think I would possibly enjoy a career more than staying at home with my kids, the fact is, I probably wouldn't be.

When I read all these other blogs I don't feel lonely. I know EXACTLY what and how the other stay-at-hom moms are feeling. In fact, I'm amazed at how my situation is anything but unique.

It is when I think about myself compared to most women my age in the world that I feel unique. Really I shouldn't even be married yet, let alone have two children by the world's standards. The uniqueness comes by that comparison.

Not too long ago Brian and I had a small reception at a nice restaurant with the Houston Camerata, a choir we were both in at the time. We sat across from another couple that was probably in their fifties. They both had very busy, accomplished lives. They had no children. In fact, they were surprised to find that we had two children. They even asked if we were Catholic (when we told them we were Mormon they had no response). Probably they didn't grow up in big families. Maybe even they didn't have any siblings. They, like me, probably followed the examples of their parents, which for them was pursuing a career. They probably didn't even realize they had a choice.

Even though I never really gave much thought to life outside of being a stay at home mom, I'm still happy with what I have. I know that I could go get a job if I wanted one or felt like that was a better thing for my family, but for now, I'm sticking with being unique.